The Greatest Story (Nearly) Never Told!

Stuart is an accountant. It's not just his job but in his very DNA. Destined to live out a life of figures and mundanity in the basement offices of Winkle & Rabid, Chartered Accountants. That is until an the fates and an unlikely gift thrusts him into a world of adventure, danger... and a pixie called Buttons!

Stuart’s first adventure, A Sword For All Reasons, will plot the rise of our intrepid hero on his first adventure to free the land from the Evil Sourceror of Yum. Who is interestingly called Cecil. With his trusty sidekick and ironer in chief, Buttons, at his side, follow Stuart as he changes from an accountant…

… to an accountant with a sword! What could possibly go wrong?

An early excerpt from A Sword For All Reasons:

Stuart lifted his sword and gave it a few test swings, catching Buttons on the back swing and launching him off the tower.

“Well, Buttons, this is it. I think I’m ready.” Looking around and finding a Buttons sized space behind him, Stuart sighed. “Typical Pixie. As soon as you need them, they run off on you.”

Squaring his shoulders, Stuart marched forward and stomped through the door, the glory of finding the secrets of Yum would be his alone. Buttons would miss out on all the fun.

Kicking open the door, Stuart charged into the tomb with a mighty roar, tripping over a slightly raised stone and dropping his sword as he did.

Still screaming he looked around, the scream tailing off as he found himself inconveniently alone in an empty, avocado coloured bathroom. A bathroom suspiciously devoid of ten headed lemmings, but conveniently containing five toilet stalls. Perfect for the man on the go, who needed to go. After all, reasoned Stuart, it had been ages since breakfast, so maybe it was a sign from the gods or something. Time for a refreshment break. Picking up his sword, Stuart leaned it up against the wall, then hitched up his loin cloth to reveal bright white and sensible underwear before heading towards the nearest stall. On his face the look of a man hoping the future might contain the hidden treasure of pleasantly soft, multi-ply toilet paper. After several days of nothing but leaves, the thought of such luxury sounded even better than vanquishing a deformed rodent.

Stuart’s adventures are coming soon… whether he’s ready or not!

Stuart The Barbarian